alive

I am still alive!! I have been without internet for 3 weeks now. My wife fucked that all up. Hope to be up and running by the end of the month. I am 99% sure that I will be leaving my wife this spring. I have come to the realization that you just can't make some one love you. I am fine with that. I am going to get us out of debt and save up money for me to head back to the mid-west and re-start my life. I have a good friend who is going through a divorce now and we plan on being drunk whore when I get back there.

On a good note, I am going to get my son in 2 weeks and will start doing everything I can with him again. Because come April or May, I am gone. Plus, me and the wife have been seeing a counselor and getting fixed. It won't help but what the fuck do we have to lose? I will try and get online again soon when time permits.

Just know that I cry all the time and already miss my wife! Is this normal? Maybe my wife wants a hardcore dude not a pussy! Oh well, I love her and my family. I am just looking forward to getting the hell out of here and back to where I wanna be. I will be much happier.