no go

As I suspected I am not meeting up with my wife. No big shocker there. She is too tired to have me come by where she is housesitting and hang out with her. Give me a fucking break! So I am to sit here and do nothing. Which is ok, because I am tired as shit too. It would have been a nice feeling to cuddle and fall asleep with my wife in my arms. Didn't even have to have wild hot tub sex like we both claim we want.

I think I am done with this thing. I am finding it way to hard not to hold a grudge against her. I wish that I had taken up some of the offers of bedding a woman over the last few years. Now I play the holier than thou thing and it's just dumb. I am thinking I will pay off our debt and next spring bail. I don't really think I have any other option.

I do know that I am destined to be a solitary man for the rest of my life. I never intend to marry again. I will grow old and be happy with that. I love the ladies still but will never have one say she is all mine...what a crock of shit that is. And they want to say gay/lesbians ruin the sanctity of marriage...us straight people do a pretty damn good job of that as well.