the dynamic

Fuck! My wife is so fucked up right now. I have been nothing but nice to her. She has no idea how to take it. Oh well, I will keep it up and see what happens. She is pissed at herself and lashes out at me. Complaining how I was "snooping". If I didn't have a suspicion I wouldn't have been "snooping".

Not to mention she is dumbfounded as to how I am getting her email passwords and such. Fuck it, I am going to print a few things off and keep them for my records. As I was shown earlier this evening her cheating is cause for an immediate divorce. Usually you have be seperated for 1 year. My biggest problem is my son. I love that kid like no other. I would want to return to the mid-west and be happy again. What are the odds that my son would be able to live with me full time in MN? I think he is worth the fight but should I just count my losses already and move ahead? Try to get him for the summers?

I am just a fucking trainwreck and need a nice long weekend ALONE. I am thinking I am going to go camping amd all will be good. Some nice solitude. Hiking, taking some pictures and just figure shit out.

Kind of funny how this blog when from the masturbating married man to the masturbating soon to be divorced blog. I guess it's just the way it is. My life has been fucking insane for 15 years. Some good, lots bad. I always seem to come out of it all feeling pretty good. I do know for a fact that I will NEVER re-marry. I am thinking I am more of the anti-social introvert type. Didn't used to be that way.

Oh well, it's late and I am just trying to figure out what I do do with my life now. I don't really have the money to be dealing with this shit now. Do I wanna bust my ass for the next 6 months to get out of debt only to get back into it divorcing my wife? I am so fucked. Wish me luck in the toilet bowl life.