Bullied
I am rather pissy this evening! I was called by my soon to be ex-wife today claiming that I had to pay the day care people that watch my son. I hate these people to begin with. So I paid via money order so there is a trail and proof that I paid this bitch. I showed up and this woman starts telling me that we need to talk because we have animosity between us. Yeah I hate her and she hates me. Makes for very tense moments when I pick up my son.
Anyway, I went to pick my son up this evening and this chick and huge boyfriend start telling me that I need to shut my mouth or big boyfriend will beat my ass. Well, give me a break. I know that she has talked shit about me. So if I am the one paying for his child care I want to decide where he goes. I don't need the drama when I pick up my son. I hate my selfish soon to be ex-wife. She has become a leetch. I am going to drop the hammer on her in the next 2 weeks. Thats when I will approach her with my seperation papers. She is going to be fucked. I need to learn how to keep my cool. Smile and go on as if nothing happened. I have been documenting everything in my divorce diary.
I have become a bitter creep over the last few months/years. I can flip out on my wife in a second. I have never been that way in my life. How and why can she make me be like that? I hate this. I have to go hakuna matata with myself. Stay tuned for whatever else is to come I'm sure.
posted by neanderthal @ 1/26/2007 06:24:00 PM
2 Comments:
Hi there... I am visiting from Adagio Breezes Too (my best friend). I just finished reading your blog, getting a feel for what's going on and thought I would comment (hope that's ok).
My boyfriend made the mistake when he and his ex-wife broke up to take on everything he could in an effort to win her back. She encouraged him to do so even when she told him he didn't have to. The truth of how much she felt it was her right to have him as an "I need you back slave" came out full force when he and I came together.
I was essentially a great threat to her because I helped him find his spine again. I don't say that while beating my chest... he has told me over and over again that it was due to my belief in him as a man that helped him move on.
She took everything from him and when he ran out, she demanded he find more. Whether it be his time or his money... she wanted it all. Even while they were divorced. She would use the "possibility" of them getting back together (even while she was engaged to be married) to keep him in chains. It was a sad thing to witness and the only reason I stayed around was because I could see the man desperately needing to escape.
I did little (in my opinion) to encourage him and I certainly never made him feel that if he didn't cut the ties with her, that I would leave. I just made comments and waited.
Soon enough, he realized what she really was... a princess. She demanded everything and gave nothing in return and felt no remorse for it. It's true.
What he had to go through once she determined her slave was free was not fun. She up and moved out of state taking his son with her. She wouldn't let him talk to his son or see him even when he drove 300 miles to do so. This went on for months. She would call him and belittle him and I would just want to cry deeply for him. He wanted so much to tell her to fuck off but knew her personality and what she might do (disappear with his son forever).
So... he got an attorney. I gave him the money because he had none... all of it had been going to her for so long that he didn't know how to save money. Once he had a little in his hand, he would spend it on meaningless things or simply give it away because that's what he was use to doing. It took $5000 to go through all the paperwork, taking her to court and other things.
Once court time arrived, she did her best to look worn out and hopeless. She told my boyfriend's attorney that if she didn't get what she wanted, she would release herself from parental obligation. I wish she had actually done that!
The final court date came and she never showed up... she left the state she was living in to live with some other guy. She has two older children who won't talk to her, another who stayed behind and another who reluctantly went with her. My boyfriend's son is with us and she really messed him up. Luckily, he hasn't hit his teen years yet and there's definitely lots of hope for him.
She left no forwarding address and has not tried to contact her son for over a year now. The next step... to remove her parental rights.
The thing I'm trying to get across here (sorry it took so long) is that there's always a story behind the story. I can try to explain my boyfriend's situation but it never really tells the whole story. There's so much more... there's all the manipulation she did... all the tears I saw on his face not seeing his son. I can never tell it all.
Only you know the real story and how bad it is. Only you know how much you miss your son.
One other thing. Years before I met my boyfriend, I had another boyfriend whom I met on line and then lived with for a few years. It is my belief that the Internet can be a great place or a horrendous place. I thought it was wonderful when I met him but what I found out was that the Internet hid who he truly was behind words on a screen. I knew him long distance for two years and then after two months of living with him I knew I had been mislead. The only reason I stayed an additional four years was because he was getting custody of his son and there was a lot of work there.
I seem to have a way of hooking up with men who have a son who needs help. Weird that.
The thing is... after I lived with him for a year or so, I began chatting on line with people. I stopped once we met and didn't have an interest any more. But the main reason I was chatting when we first met was to meet someone because I was lonely.
Why then would I start up again after so long being with him? Because I was lonely again. He talked to me more when we were long distance than face to face. And what happened on line? Well, I began flirting and others would flirt with me and things were said... etc.
He found out and broke into my accounts... to me, a complete violation of my rights. He threatened me. Told me he would change the locks if I dare to leave. Came at me with a closed fist hitting a pillow next to my face as I flinched. Got mad at me for flinching!
I stayed.
Not for fear of being hurt, but for the guilt I felt for talking to others. Flirting is a natural occurrence... but the Internet makes it more intense and much more intentful. If you're at a store and flirt, it probably wasn't intentional. If you log into a chat room... you meant to do it.
I never cheated. I never asked anyone to meet me anywhere. I never gave out my real name or address. I had no intention at all to cheat.
After this, he locked his computer so I couldn't get into it. I found out some time later that he was the one intending to cheat. He accidently left his email open one day with it opened to an email wherein he was attempting to meet up with a man and his wife to have sex.
So which one of us is the horrible person?
I have since decided it wasn't me. Perhaps that's what most people do, but I'm usually very analytical and share equally in the guilt. I don't in this case. Perhaps it was wrong of me to flirt on line, but I wouldn't have if the man I fell in love with would talk to me and let me share my mind with him. I never tried to actually DO something with someone else... he did. And with full intention of doing so. He was trying to plan it around a week long trip I was taking and even have them over to our house while the kids were sleeping. That's what really got me mad!
So is the internet a good thing or a bad thing?
The blog I have today is the only personal blog I have. I do have a writing site and other places I log onto, but nothing really personal. My boyfriend can read every inch of anything I write on line. Why? Because I trust him completely and because we talk about so many things that I have no reason to want to chat with others. I do have friends on line but there's nothing sexual in any of it. I just don't have the need or desire to go there.
That being said... I do understand the feeling behind why people want to have chats on line; I've been there and understand the addiction. I guess I just don't need it any more.
This is the longest comment I've ever made and I'm wondering if you wouldn't mind if I take it and put it into my blog linking back to it? Mainly because it gives a little history of my life and that's what I like to post from time to time. Like a journal, you know.
Good meeting you.
Wow, that was a blog entry by itself. Was a very good read and you made me think of my next topic. Stop by again, will be fun I hope.
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